SB Nation Houston: All Posts by Bill Hanstock

Quiet down, Paul George's shirt! I'm trying to hear this press conference!

2013-05-23T04:40:51Z

Paul George wears green enzyme shirt twitpic.com/csj3oz/full
— Ben Golliver (@blazersedge) May 23, 2013

Shaq and Birdman: the best of friends

2013-05-23T04:36:50Z

You think they have matching tattoos?

What if they had a B1G Baseball Tournament and no one came?

2013-05-23T02:54:39Z

What if they had a B1G Baseball Tournament and no one came?

Welp, now we know the answer to THAT question!

San Francisco 49ers WR Michael Crabtree tears Achilles at OTAs

2013-05-22T22:42:17Z

The injury bug has hit hard for the San Francisco 49ers. Michael Crabtree, who in 2012 became the 49ers' first 1,000 yard receiver since Terrell Owens in 2003, faces approximately six months of rehab after tearing his Achilles during Tuesday's OTAs. David Fucillo of Niners Nation weighs in on the disappointing development.

Scientific Podcast Goes Boink, Episode 36: You're Not Ever Gonna Be Friends With Wrestlers

2013-05-22T18:11:40Z

This time around, Pete and Bill are thrilled to be joined by Steven Godfrey, a former five-year employee of actual pro wrestling company TNA Wrestling (or Impact! Pro Wrestling, if you're nasty). The three gentlemen discuss a great many things related to the world of pro graps and even a few things that aren't! They talk about everything from Low-Ki living the gimmick to the reality of Hulk Hogan and everything in between. Enjoy!

You can click the below Flash player to listen immediately. Extended show notes and links are below.

You can also subscribe to the show on iTunes and leave a review if you so desire. If that isn't enough, you can download the podcast directly at Libsyn and you can subscribe to the RSS feeds at Libsyn and right here at Progressive Boink.

If you have feedback, want to bring something to our attention, or would like to hear us discuss something, please email us at scientificpod@gmail.com

For your full enjoyment, links to things discussed on the podcast:

- Wrestlemania 2000, ladder match
- Guardians of the Galaxy preview
- Samoa Joe's TNA debut
- Bound for Glory 2006
- Kevin Nash & the X-Division
- Murder (Motor) City Machine Guns
- The Main Event Mafia
- The Iron Sheik
- Smodcast
- Zeb Colter

Draw a sports logo from memory: Oakland Athletics

2013-05-22T17:00:04Z

Even if you don't like sports, there are many sports logos with which you may be familiar. But here's the thing: even if you DO like sports -- even if you instantly recognize a myriad of logos and create the semiotic link in your head to the team they represent on a daily basis -- they're insanely hard to recreate from memory alone.

This is our ongoing series where we attempt to recreate these logos using only a drawing implement and our own all-too-fallible human memories. Please enjoy our horrible attempt at the logo and accompanying anecdote, then give it a shot for yourself in the comments below. Have fun!

The Oakland Athletics have one of the simplest and most elegant logos in all of baseball. Can you remember exactly what it looks like off the top of your head? I sure couldn't!

If you want to try for bonus points, please attempt to draw the Athletics' alternate logo of an elephant standing on top of an enormous baseball (or is it a normal-sized baseball and a tiny elephant?), wielding a clutch of bats in its fearsome trunk as it threatens to lay waste to us all. You think they call him "Stomper" because he gives hugs? No, man. Get the hell away from that murderous elephant, quickly.

When you're done giving it the old college try, post your results in the comments below and then click here to see what the actual logo looks like. Have fun!

The Week in Worst: Seriously guys, get it together

2013-05-21T16:43:35Z

We're down to just four basketball teams! They're the only ones who are left. The others have all been relegated to the AFL or something. I think that's how the playoffs work. The teams who are no longer around played pretty badly, as you might expect. One of the worst players of the week was Serge Ibaka of the Thunder, who made me think about Double Dribble for the Nintendo Entertainment System. So it wasn't a complete loss, I guess.

I learned basically everything I know about basketball from playing Double Dribble. Which is a simply scathing indictment of SB Nation and their hiring processes.

On to the GIFs! Yes, we are going a bit over a week ago on these, but I think you'll forgive us when you see the quality that we're bringing you. Or lack thereof. Whichever you prefer.

Worst Shirt Mastery

Player: David West
Date: May 11

You'd be angry too if it took you three quarters to put on a shirt and this is as close as you were able to get. David West prefers that you call him "Cornholio," all right? He needs T.P. for his bung hole, okay? Don't make it weird.

The best part of this GIF? His teeth popping out of his collar at the end. Also, I'm really pleased I was just able to write that sentence.

Worst Butt-Rooting

Player: This Heat fan
Date: May 15

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. YEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. THAT'S A SWEET CAN YA GOT THERE BRON BRON WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHAKE IT DON'T BREAK IT YEEEEEAAAHHHH HOT CHA CHA CHAAAAAAAA WE'RE NUMBER ONE AWOOOOOOOOOGA DUMPS LIKE A TRUCK TRUCK BASKETBALLLLLLL

Worst Fast Break

Player: Gary Neal, Cory Joseph
Date: May 12

This GIF is mostly just the Gary Neal STUMBLING BUMBLING FUMBLING hour, but please don't miss out on Cory Joseph seeing things about to go higgledy-piggledy, trying to help Neal save the ball (kinda) and then just running into media row before having to right himself like he just Starsky-and-Hutched across the hood of a car and taking off the other way in a sprint.

Worst No-Look Pass

Player: Joakim Noah
Date: May 13

Hey, Noah: sometimes, you should look.

Worst Pass

Player: Carlos Boozer
Date: May 13

The fact that this GIF is in slow-mo really seals the deal in terms of hilarity and heartbreak. You can imagine Boozer busting a Darth Vader-style "NOOOOO" as the ball floats sadly into the clutches of Dwyane Wade. This GIF is the perfect encapsulation of the Heat-Bulls series; things seem to be going great for Chicago, but then it's just misery and destruction.

Worst Delay of Game

Player: Tony Allen

Date: May 13

So wily! Such tricks! You're a crafty old codger, Ray -- oh, wait, no, whoops, the ref saw you kick that ball away. Can't do that. That's a paddlin'. Go out back and break me off a switch, Ray. I've had it up to here with your mischief.

Worst Slam Dunk (Non-Serge Ibaka Division)

Player: Kawhi Leonard
Date: May 12

Yes, this is a fine example of the Double Dribble hubris I outlined in the above video. But if this is a slam-dunk version of "who wore it better," one man stands dunk and shoulders above the rest of the field. And there's really no contest about who was the worst slam-dunker in the second round of the playoffs.

Worst Slam Dunk

Player: Serge Ibaka
Date: May 11

Yep, Serge Ibaka sure did a bad job at dunk-a-rooing that slam. BUT HE DID IT TWICE.

Thanks for going above and beyond, Serge. The people of Oklahoma City will never stop thanking you for the memories you've given them. That's mostly accurate, I feel.

Worst Attempted Layup

Player: Nick Collison
Date: May 16

This is like a magic trick. Not the good kind. The kind that maybe your uncle tries to do after Thanksgiving dinner, but then he falls into the pumpkin pies and starts cussing and makes everyone sad. That's not autobiographical or anything, but the sentiment is probably fairly universal. Like, dang it Collison, we were gonna eat that pie and now it's just ruined.

Worst Flop

Player: LeBron James
Date: May 15

Lil' Nate Robinson just busting out the world's tiniest shotei is pretty great, but LeBron's delayed sell of the palm strike like he's just been dragon-uppercutted is phenomenal. People get sick of Blake Griffin's flopping antics, but maybe it's just that he lacks the floppistry elan of a master artist like King James.

Worst Bounce Pass

Player: Derek Fisher
Date: May 14

A bounce pass? Really? You thought that was going to save your season, Fish? Well, I guess it's those sort of cagey wiles that have kept you in the league for 57 years. Still though, a bounce pass? Why didn't you just roll it in? That might have been less heartbreaking.

Ryan Vogelsong suffers broken hand against Nationals

2013-05-21T05:01:38Z

In Monday night's game against the Washington Nationals, San Francisco Giants pitcher Ryan Vogelsong suffered a broken hand after swinging at an inside pitch that hit him in the knuckles in the fifth inning. CSN Bay Area reports that Vogelsong has a fracture in his throwing hand. Vogelsong left the game in the middle of his at-bat against Craig Stammen and was replaced by pinch hitter Nick Noonan.

Vogelsong, who had been struggling all season, was pitching his best game of the year, allowing just three hits and one walk through five innings of work, lowering his ERA to 7.19. The Giants were leading the Nationals 6-0 when Vogelsong departed, still in line for the win.

The veteran, who made a much-publicized return to the majors in two seasons ago, was an All-Star in 2011 and helped the Giants to a World Series championship in 2012, turning in clutch postseason performances. His early season struggles have been such that there were rumblings the Giants were considering skipping his start on Monday. Through five innings, it appeared as though Vogelsong may have turned a corner, but he will now be out of action for an extended period of time.

More from SB Nation:

• How pretty are first-place Braves sitting?

• Is Miguel Cabrera baseball's greatest player?

• Don Mattingly and taking the fall

• Is Ike Davis just not that good?

• MLB Draft: Players with signability questions