Happy NFL Draft Eve! J.J. Watt Reminds Us That We're All Morons

Former Wisconsin "pizza boy" J.J. Watt has a smart reminder for fans and media around the Texans organization and the entire NFL on this blessed NFL Draft Eve - 'tis better to shut your mouth than pen a collosal foot-in-mouth opus:

That link sends you to one Chris Baldwin of CultureMap Houston, who eviscerated the Texans for taking Watt 11th overall in last year's NFL Draft. Baldwin contended that a future Pro Bowler was left on the board in Auburn's Nick Fairley.

What's say we give you a stat line comparison first, then excerpt some stupid quote from Baldwin? That way everyone'e in on the joke, save for one media expert.

  • Watt's 2011: 16 games started, 48 tackles and 5.5 sacks, as well as one interception return for a touchdown in the playoffs against Cincinnati
  • Fairley's 2011: Zero games started (10 appearances), nine tackles, one sack, multiple injuries, and one arrest in the 2012 offseason for drug possesion

Now granted, there's a lot of football left in these young mens' careers, but right about the time Watt was crossing the end zone against Cincinnati, he might've pondered the stylings of Baldwin. And if he didn't, we'lltry to recreate that moment for you now:

"That's really what it seems to have come down to for the Texans again with the selection of Wisconsin's J.J. Watt. This franchise may never make the playoffs under Bob McNair, but it's sure going to have high-quality gentlemen on the roster."

Wait for it...

"Instead of going big, instead of grabbing the best defensive player in the draft (a guy who Mel Kiper was touting as the No. 1 overall pick not long ago), the Texans played it safe and went with the pizza boy."

Wait for it...

"Watt is a great story. But it's hard to imagine him ever being a star. It's hard to see him changing games for Houston on defense."

YEAH, YOU BALDWIN? YEAH... UH, I GOT UH... (/looks in bag) ONE EXTRA LARGE HUBRIS WITH A SIDE OF ZERO CREDIBILITY, SIR. OH, AND SOME CHEESY BREAD. $14.50 WITH THE COUPON.

NOW EAT IT.

More Draft fun is available at Battle Red Blog and Mocking The Draft.

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