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What's On Television Today: Sunday, Nov. 14, 2010

(Warning: NSFHumanity)

NFL Sunday. Growing up as a kid on the mean streets of northwest Austin, it usually meant one of two things: I got to watch the Cowboys or I got to watch some team that wasn't the Oilers. This made my decision at the tender age of 8 to jettison my paternally influenced Cowboys fanship for becoming an Oilers fan somewhat an exercise in futility (I cried at the dinner table when Jimmy Johnson; hand to God). None the less I watched when I could, routinely missed 1st quarters due to my parents' parochial ties, and ultimately felt completely crapped on after only getting on year of watching both Steve McNair and Eddie George in primordial form.

Flash forward 14 years and the experience is somewhat different. Instead of being happy to watch two games on a Sunday (we didn't have cable until I was 16) and 3 in two days, I now watch parts of every single game (sham on DirecTV). I also watch every Texans game without fail. Take that KEYE TV and your propensity to broadcast Titans and/or Browns games in its stead.

Oh sweet free candy. I'll get me some of that.

Houston Texans @ Jacksonville Jaguars, 12:00 PM, CBS -- You know plenty about this one already. Jack Del Rio and co. play sans Aaron Kampmin play host to the NFL's worst defense. If you hate games where each team don't score a minimum of 3-4 TDs a piece, this one's for you. Oh, and fire Frank Bush.

Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears, 12:00 PM, FOX -- Do you enjoy DERP? Well have I the football game for you. Jay Cutler and Brett Favre head to the windy, cold confines of Space Alien Soldier Field in a mission to determine the one true arm punter in the National Football League. Inexplicably this game is still light years greater than the next best alternatives (which include Detroit at Buffalo and Carolina at Tampa Bay; yikes).

Fatality

Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants, 3:15 PM, FOX -- Despite all the makings of an utter blood bath, I sort of have this weird feeling in the back of my mind that says Jason Garrett's first game as head coach will be one of those sports talk radio hyperbolic lightning rod type ones and that while the Cowboys probably won't actually win this thing, they may keep it relatively interesting. Then again, Jon Kitna is the Cowboys' quarterback. I never thought I'd see the day where Dan Orlovsky could transitively look like Scarlett Johansson, but here we are.

MOVE! Get out the way!

Houston Rockets at New York Knicks, 6:30, NBA TV -- I love me some Rockets. In fact, I'm not here today if not for first getting into the team roughly around the 1993-1994 season. They were my first sports love, and will always hold a tender place in my mart. That being said, I have an awfully hard time focusing on much of anything during football season except, well, football. None the less, it's times like these I'm awfully glad I have two HD televisions in my living room (opulence; I have maxed out credit cards to kind of have it)

BUTTRIOTS

New England Patriots at Pittsburgh Steelers, 7:15, NBC -- I can't pretend I'm interested in this one. Like at all. In spite of "OMG TWO REPUTABLE BRANDS", the contempt I have for both of these organizations and the negative stereotypes of their fanbases is incalculable. I will be watching Dexter (8:00 PM, Showtime East) and/or The Walking Dead (9:00 PM, AMC). But then again there's that whole second TV thing... Le sigh. 

Images by eflon used in background images under a Creative Commons license. Thank you.