I was sitting here with blurry eyes, trying to wake up. Then, all of the sudden, I poured orange juice into my cereal. But it's okay, because it just reminded me of this:
I'M FINE BRENDON!
UEFA Champions League -- Arsenal vs. Partizan -- Fox Soccer Channel, 1:45 PM -- Given that a partisan was a type of weapon, and an arsenal was a store of weapons, I can tell you that this game ends when Arsenal finds a way to contain Partizan within itself. I hope it winds up being less gross then it sounds.
Denver Nuggets @ Boston Celtics -- ESPN, 6 PM -- I was trying to think of an angle to pitch this game to you with. I still can't think of one. Don't worry about it, it's just a slow sports day. Carmelo Anthony is good and stuff?
There you have it
College Basketball -- Bradley Braves @ (1) Duke Blue Devils -- ESPN2, 8 PM -- Does Patrick O'Bryant have any eligibility left? That could be one way to make this game interesting.
College Basketball -- Gonzaga Bulldogs @ Washington St. Cougars -- FSN, 10 PM -- Your cure from insomnia is figuring out which Washington basketball team will get to feel less inferior to the Huskies this year.
Liga Venezolana -- Zulia vs. Aragua -- ESPN3.com, 6 PM -- The natives will see Lastings Milledge's giant cross and believe him to be their new God. Or rob him. Either way.
San Jose Sharks @ Philadelphia Flyers -- Versus, 6 PM -- There are two kinds of people in the world: sheep and sharks. Unfortunately, these Sharks appear to have developed boneitis.