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Your Swagger Questions Are Answered!

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Well, thanks to my top secret sources Google News, I've found the Madden ratings for the Texans a day or so before they were supposed to be released. There is bound to be plenty of arguing about the ratings themselves, most of which should revolve around how these guys came up with the idea that Kasey Studdard was a 78 last season while David Anderson, to name one snub, is a 64.

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But you guys know me: I'm most interested in the swagger column. I'm always happy to expand my football knowledge in any way I possibly can, and now that Old Spice swagger has finally been documented, we can finally figure out who actually had swagger and who was just a swagger pretender. Remember how Bernard Pollard's swagger helped the Texans secondary last year? Well, it turns out he was just talented, because his swagger rating was only a 52. Yes, it turns out that Glover Quin's swagger was what actually held the secondary together, as he rated a 84. So next time you hear someone say that Pollard brings that certain swagger that can take the Texans over the hump, make sure to correct them and let them know that Quin brings all the swagger to the table. I guess you need it when your last name is more commonly a girl's first name. 

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If you'd like to know about who has the worst swagger on the team, it turns out that both Duane Brown and James Casey are severely lacking in it. Casey, at 45, would be in real danger of being usurped for his roster spot by Anthony Hill (of the 81 swagger) if not for Hill having to use every inch of that swagger last season to fight injuries and swine flu. Brown, with his 48 swagger number, was probably rated so lowly because he used up all his swagger making sure the people at Madden gave him a mind-boggling 87 pass block rating.

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So how about it SBN Houston? Are we more excited for Rashad Butler to take over at left tackle and boost our swagger there, or are we more excited for the deep layer of swagger that Smithiak imported in this draft? Kareem Jackson is an 86!

Images by eflon used in background images under a Creative Commons license. Thank you.