clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Unchill Betrayal Bro Rides Robber Baron Wave, Plots To Steal Astros Minor League Team: What's On Television, Saturday August 7

New, 1 comment

(Ed. note: for frame of reference, see indie rock abomination of the English language Hipster Runoff. NSFW)

↵

Nolan Ryan is a ex-pharmaceutical pitchman who used to throw buzz balls at high velocities. It seems he has a new favorite hobby: 'crap on the Houston Astros.' In 1988 Ryan left rainbow baseball bros the Houston Astros Co. in a 'contract dispute' to ride the old man no hitter waves with the Texas Rangers [via Wikipedia]. He also took up MMA as a 'side hustle':

↵

Nolanryanbeatdown_medium

↵

Thought it would be 'alt' to continue to 'back stab' Houston fans, so in 2K8 he 'bailed' on a personal services contract he had with the Astros to serve as a consultant [via 'doing nothing'] and became Team President for the fuzzy buzzy Jon Daniels Blues Explosion.

↵

 

↵

Ryan decided Wednesday to 'live the American dream' and become his own boss [via buying his broke ass bosses' most valuable personal asset, the Texas Rangers]. After doing so, he called his 'son' Reid Ryan, President of the Round Rock Express that Ryan also owns, possibly to 'collude and steal Houston's AAA franchise'.

↵

Just want to go back 2 2K9, have the liberty to know Houston's AAA franchise is so close and feel no guilt in only going to 1-2 games per year. Feel secure they'll be there 4ever.

↵

R u bummed that Nolan Ryan is trying to 'poop' on Houston a 3rd time?
Is Nolan Ryan an unchill 'indian giver'?
Will Ryan also poach AA Corpus Christy Hooks?
Do you think Oklahoma City is a dirty cowtown w/ low ABV anti-buzz beers?

↵

↵

↵

Rangershate_medium 

↵

Should Houston get 'back in bed' with New Orleans for all their 33-year old 'buzz prospects' to hit .250?
Do y'all think Drayton is chill with Nolan Ryany 'stealing what little dignity he has left' or do you think he even knows about it?

↵

 

↵

↵

↵

↵

↵

↵↵

Baseball

↵↵

↵↵

3:00, Fox – Jon Daniels Blues Explosion at Athletics.

↵

↵

6:00, WGN – White Sox at Orioles.

↵

 

↵↵

7:05, FSNHouston – Astros at Brewers.

↵

↵↵

↵

↵

Mixed Martial Arts

↵

↵

9:00, Pay-per-view – UFC 117: Silva vs. Sonnen.

↵


↵

Golf

↵

11:00 a.m., Golf Channel, 1:00 CBS – Third round of the Bridgestone Invitational.

↵


↵

NFL

↵

6:00 ESPN – Pro Football Hall of Fame enshrinement ceremony.

↵↵

Images by eflon used in background images under a Creative Commons license. Thank you.