Look, sports is our refuge from the outside world. It's a place where we can gather and enjoy superb athletic feats, wonderful displays of dexterity, and the thrill of competition between the best of the best.
↵Unless, of course, the pimento cheese is missing.
↵↵↵The severe thunderstorm that came through Augusta around 3:30a.m. caused a power outage at the production center for pimento and egg sandwiches
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Oh boy, I hope someone thought of those poor Masters attendees on the ground. How will they ever reach the perfect state of isolation without their beloved pimento and egg sandwiches? Can we find someone to blow this out of proportion?
↵↵↵"We were in disbelief when we walked in and heard there were no sandwiches," said Reed Clevenger of Cary, N.C., who came to the tournament with a friend and both men's sons.
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Reed, like all caricatured dignified men, then broke a monocle in his wine glass and requested the reporter dig it out, referring to her as "the help."
↵↵↵"We told (our sons) even if you don't like it, you have to try the pimento cheese at least once."
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"You simply haaaave to! Much better than the caviar we received from Professor Claw last year as a gift, wouldn't you say?"
↵But don't worry, those thunderstorms couldn't keep being not-really-news for long, as order was restored before the tournament started. There is plenty of pimento to go around. Do try to enjoy it, as I'd be ever so annoyed to have labored hard to bring you this story if you didn't. (Casual reference to revolutions going on in the world, war atrocities, potential nuclear meltdowns, all while we have commissioned someone to write something about a lack of pimento cheese.)
↵h/t to whitewhine.com
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