No, hear me out on this one.
SB Nation recently came out with a list of the worst five slogans in baseball this season. As you know, because fans wouldn't otherwise watch baseball, teams have to pay money to advertising executives so they can come up with short biographical sentences that try to sum up a team.
The Astros have selected "We Are Your Astros" as their slogan this season, and it came in as the third-worst on Jeff Sullivan's list. I like this slogan though, because it perfectly embodies exactly what the Houston Astros are: the Houston Astros.
See, other teams who don't have much of a selling point make it a habit to promise things like hustle or promise, but the Astros know better. They give their fans enough credit to have seen Carlos Lee loaf for a flyball, and we all know that the percentage of Astros in the big leagues that are under 25 is going to be spectacularly low. They know that we know that Baseball Prospectus is picking them to finish with the worst record in baseball, and they aren't getting much pub anywhere else either. They also know that we know they can pull out all the stops and get to 77 wins just to spite said publications.
But you know, what else are you gonna do this summer? Go to Dynamo games? Watch the NBA and NFL see who can have the most vindictive lockout? They're your Houston Astros, and they've got some cheap tickets and (presumably) a lot of empty seats coming up this summer. You own them for now, because Drayton McLane is selling them. At least until Jim Crane or whoever the next owner will be gives the go-ahead to the "We Are My Astros" slogan.
And yeah, it's probably not going to be an exciting ride this season. Beyond Bud Norris, Chris Johnson, Brett Wallace, and some bullpen pieces, the Astros are bereft of anyone who will likely establish a new level of performance. They're just your Astros: Brett Myers, Wandy Rodriguez, Hunter Pence, Michael Bourn, vanilla pudding. But it's still major league baseball. And it's pretty cheap. And who else are you gonna root for, the Rangers? C'mon now.
They're our Astros.