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The Texans Defense, In Choose Your Own Adventure Format

Would you like to build a good defense?

Yes (X)
No ( )

Would you like to bring in free agents to solidify glaring holes in your secondary?

Yes ( )
No (X)

Would you like to select players to fill those holes, say, starting free safety or nose tackle, early on in the NFL draft?

Yes ( )
No (X)

Would you like to sign depth players so that when your team, like every NFL team, gets hit by injuries, you have people to step up?

Yes ( )
No (X)

Would you like to bring in a defensive coordinator with a proven track record of turning around a bad unit all on his own, without any lineup changes?

Yes ( )
No (X)

Would you like your defensive coordinator to be someone that your head coach is buddy-buddy with, since that worked out so well when he hired Richard Smith?

Yes (X)
No ( )

Would you like to put together a volatile secondary and act surprised when a rookie cornerback doesn't play well in his first season?

Yes (X)
No ( )

Would you like to make excuses for the secondary constantly because they are young while prefacing those statements by saying "they've got to do better," and never actually seeing improvement?

Yes (X)
No ( )

Is it all on you?

Yes (X)
No ( )

Will you actually take any blame for it?

Sign a contract extension (X)
Resign ( )

Congratulations, you've just built the second-worst defense in the NFL despite having multiple star caliber players. One that would easily be the worst if the Buffalo Bills weren't managed by what appears to be a used car salesman and coached by a nimrod so nimmed that even Jerry Jones couldn't take more than a few years of him. Would you like to play for 9-7 again?

You have selected "yes."

Images by eflon used in background images under a Creative Commons license. Thank you.