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Top Five Scariest Texans Players

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Before I start, this was excruciatingly hard to finalize. And, minus David Anderson, Matt Leinart and Matt Turk, all players were considered.

How did I grade how scary each player was? The following notions were considered:

1. Would I want to meet him in an alley following a bad game?

2. Intensity both on and off the field.

3. Just how "beast" is his beast mode?

4. Physical Intimidation/ just flat out being a jacked specimen

5. Lastly, how hard are his hits?

Without further adeu, here are the top five scariest Texans:

5. Andre Johnson

Johnson is quietly scary. In fact, his quietness makes him even scarier...but don't misjudge his silence for being soft. Johnson is the strongest and hardest hitting WR in the league (minus cheap shots, ahem, Mr. Hines Ward). He destroys middle safeties . Also, his bicep looks like its the size of my head

4. Vonta Leach

Terzell Vonta Leach. Yeah.

He passed with flying colors on the "would i want to meet him in a back alley following a back game" part of the analysis. Leach is listed at 6-foot-6, 260, meaning he's probably eaten hundreds of babies to get that big. He also passed with "how hard are his hits?", which probably helps Arian Foster do his thing. But that's irrelevant right now. You know what isn't irrelevant? This Raider's facial expression: "I hate my job sometimes".

3. Brian Cushing

Where do I start? I don't even care that he did steroids, or that he "works out too hard." The man is crazy. That's the sole reason he's on this list. Oh, and his beast mode is off the charts. And so is his intensity. And so are his hits. 

2. Bernard Pollard

I don't know why exactly the Chiefs cut him, but I thank them every day. He is the epitome of our defense. He will f**k you up, flat out. Just ask Brad Gradkowski. Also, this is my favorite video of all time. Pollard ranks No. 1 on the "would I want to meet in in the back alley" aspect. He's just crazy. Crazy strong.

1. Mario Williams

He is the king of beast mode. The king of physical intimidation. His intensity may lack at times, but for god sakes just LOOK AT HIM. 6-foot-6, 290? Get on his level. Oh wait, you can't. 

Images by eflon used in background images under a Creative Commons license. Thank you.