There's nothing quite as asinine as grading an NFL Draft the day it ends, or in this case, the day before it ends. But since we've been requisitioned to do it, lets have some fun with it. Here are some completely random grades on the excellence that was the Houston Texans first three picks:
Round 1, Pick 11: J.J. Watt, defensive end, Wisconsin. Grade: Beige Alert!
I understand J.J. Watt's strengths are a great fit for Wade Phillips' new 3-4 scheme, but the idea that they'd take a non-nose tackle defensive lineman with their first pick fills me with confusion. But then I remember that these are the Houston Texans, and they don't know or care what a nose tackle is. So I'm filled with the same kind of jarring indifference that I felt all of last season as I watched their defense fail to do anything right.
In the face of the Watt pick, I'm forced to conclude that a simple Beige Alert is the best way to go about things for now. If J.J. Watt doesn't improve the defense, tell my wife I said hello.
Round 2, Pick 42: Brooks Reed, linebacker, Arizona. Grade: A slightly used record of Nena's 99 Luftballons