Week 4 NFL Picks

Thus ends the first quarter of the NFL season. It went way too fast. Unfortunately, my jokes haven't gotten any funnier nor have my picks gotten any better. I'm like the Indianapolis Colts offense of picks columns. (Bazinga!)

San Francisco 49ers at Philadelphia Eagles: The Niners have a better record, so they should be favored, right? The Eagles have a banged up quarterback and receiver, right? Not so fast, my friends. San Fran's schedule has been much, much easier than Philly's. Plus, Michael Vick will be back, though probably not at 100 percent. The Niners barely held on against Cincinnati, plus they're a West Coast team playing at noon. Those teams never fare well. My pick: Philly 31, San Fran 14

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals: Believe in the Buffalo Bills. Especially against a weak Cincinnati team. Seriously, do you realize they have Andy Dalton at quarterback? And we're supposed to take him seriously? Ridiculous. My pick: Buffalo 27, Cincinnati 7

Detroit Lions at Dallas Cowboys: Washington's defense was not able to slow down a gimpy Tony Romo, but they were able to keep the Cowboys out of the end zone. Detroit's defense is better than the Redskins. That spells trouble for Dallas. Oh, and did I mention the Lions have a really, really good offense? Yeah, danger signs abound. My pick: Detroit 24, Dallas 17

Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears: So Cam Newton cannot conquer a rainstorm. He also cannot get his running game going, though he did allow Jonathan Stewart to get some time in the passing game. The Bears' defense has given up almost 400 yards in every game it's played, so if the conditions are good in this one, Newton could have another big game. My pick: Carolina 21, Chicago 10

Washington Redskins at St. Louis Rams: It appears the Rams are the team everyone got excited about before the season and is going to fail miserably. They have not looked good yet, even though they are dealing with some injuries. St. Louis does get Steven Jackson back, but Washington has been pretty good against the run (not counting the Dallas game). My pick: Washington 17, St. Louis 10

New Orleans Saints at Jacksonville Jaguars: Watch the weather. Otherwise, this one will be a blowout. My pick: New Orleans 30, Jacksonville 13

Pittsburgh Steelers at Houston Texans: I've gone back and forth on this one all week. At the end of they day, I just can't help but thinking the Steelers are worse than we think. The Texans could be vulnerable to a good running game, but neither the Steelers this week nor the Saints last week look like they could capitalize on that. However, don't doubt Pittsburgh will be running behind Pouncey all day long. My pick: Houston 23, Pittsburgh 20

Tennessee Titans at Cleveland Browns: Which of these 2-1 teams is a contender and which is the pretender? Without Kenny Britt, I have a hard time thinking the Titans offense will be as explosive, at least until Chris Johnson gets back on track. That trumps the strep throat of Peyton Hillis, barely. My pick: Cleveland 16, Tennessee 10

Minnesota Vikings at Kansas City Chiefs: If the Vikings give up another comeback to the woeful Chiefs, they're officially the worst defense in the league, right? It's weird to say that about a unit that has maybe the best pass rushing defensive end in the game. My pick: Minnesota 20, Kansas City 17

Atlanta Falcons at Seattle Seahawks: This is where Atlanta gets back on track. I'd worry about the Seattle homefield advantage, but Tarvaris Jackson negates that every day of the week. My pick: Atlanta 24, Seattle 6

New York Giants at Arizona Cardinals: The Giants are still the walking wounded, but even a passable passing game should shred the Cardinals secondary. Look for big games from Victor Cruz and Co. again. My pick: New York 31, Arizona 21

Denver Broncos at Green Bay Packers: Even the Tim Tebow magic may not be enough to stop the Packers defense. Back at Lambeau Field, Green Bay should cruise to the victory: My pick: Green Bay 28, Denver 14

Miami Dolphins at San Diego Chargers: There is going to be a whole lot of passing in this one. Philip Rivers could throw for 400 yards against this Miami defense. Vincent Jackson could go even crazier. I have less hopes for the Miami offense, even though the San Diego defense hasn't been as dominant as in year's past. My pick: San Diego 27, Miami 10

New England Patriots at Oakland Raiders: I like the Raiders. I think they're better than advertised and I like what they're able to do on offense. However, New England will be ready for them and I'm not sure a Nnamdi-less defense can stop the Amazing Wes Welker. My pick: New England 34, Oakland 21

New York Jets at Baltimore Ravens: You can bet I'm going to stay up for this one. The Jets defense looked surprisingly vulnerable against the run in Oakland, but I doubt that continues. Baltimore has put together two solid performances and one stinker. There's a chance Mark Sanchez and Santonio Holmes will be able to exploit the Ravens defense, but it's no sure thing. Expect a very entertaining, hard-hitting affair. My pick: New York 20, Baltimore 17

Indianapolis Colts at Tampa Bay Buccaneers: The Colts get my vote for "Ick of the Week." Did you know they may have to turn to Curtis Painter? Ick. My pick: Tampa Bay 24, Indianapolis 7